love theory

by S.S. Rose

Published May 14, 2012

In Poetry

We lingered in the lamp-lit backseat.
I esteemed myself his bohemian mistress
of lust and possibility, made him promise me more room,
my swaying homage smothered
by those scant inches edged with breath and yellow --

he sold me drugs (a corrupted veil dissolved the guilt
that hung about like poison ivy), moaned of love
which made me laugh and twist his arms around me.
Comments & reviews · 1
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Nook
Review
Nook wrote a review Review · Jun 24, 2012

Love Theory. First, capitalize your title. It's not necessary but still...

Second, capitalize everything else.

We lingered in the lamp-lit backseat.
I esteemed myself his bohemian mistress
of lust and possibility, made him promise me more room,
My swaying homage smothered,
by those scant inches edged with breath and yellow --

He sold me drugs (a corrupted veil dissolved the guilt,
that hung about like poison ivy), moaned of love,
Which made me laugh and twist his arms around me.

I also went ahead and put in a few commas.( I'm really not at all good at reviewing!!)

I thought the piece was interesting, playing with emotions, and feelings, and I liked the general concept of it. So...keep writing!



In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening